Posting Selfie Videos: Lessons from 21 days facing my fear
I am in the business of showing people how they can connect well with others. I love networking in person but the current environment has meant things have dramatically changed. So many more of our interactions have moved online so we are connecting through a screen and/or camera.
Over the course of the last 10 years, I have started the process to overcome some of my ‘absolute fears’ - networking, public speaking, and media interviews. Before I start these projects I generally feel sick to the stomach, have panic attacks, blackouts, sweaty palms, stumble over words, go blank, have restless nights, feel frazzled, am frozen on the spot, and generally feel like a possum in headlights. I think most people can relate to some or all of these symptoms when talking about their fears.
Deciding to start creating and posting selfie videos was a tough one. I had filmed my first selfie video five years ago and had someone I thought was a trusted advisor rip it to shreds. Scared of making mistakes, looking dumb on camera, and being rejected, I never posted it.
But I kept asking myself how could I teach interpersonal skills and show people how to build quality relationships if I wasn’t willing to connect in various ways other than in person? I had to at least try. Thankfully, this time my desire to overcome my fear of staying put outweighed the fear itself.
When I kicked off this latest journey, the best way to describe how I was feeling was terrifyingly excited. I was so afraid of being vulnerable yet excited at what the opportunity could hold for the future. I needn’t have worried.
Over the course of three weeks, I have filmed three selfie videos and a number of opportunities have presented themselves. I was asked to be interviewed live online with an international audience. I got asked to model for a photoshoot (not something I would ordinarily agree to but I decided at the beginning of the year that I was going to say yes to all opportunities). I was asked to be a guest on two podcasts.
I set myself some rules of engagement before I started that surprisingly resonated with people:
Each video was purposely raw, i.e. no formal training. I wanted to go 21 days on my own and see what I learned in that period but I also wanted something to look back on when I do get some training under my belt.
Each video was done in a single take, as I knew I would never post them if I kept retaking them till they were perfect. The first take of all of my videos to date has been the best anyway.
By the third video I was able to go handsfree as I feel I engage better with an audience when I can use my hands. Unfortunately, that resulted in my head being cut off when posting it to social media (something to do with settings that I haven’t figured out yet).
I didn’t want to memorise the text but needed some prompters. I also didn’t want to look at myself as I was videoing so I stuck a post-it note to the screen with some sentence starters.
I set a time limit for each video of one minute. The intention was to keep it short and clear with a punchy message. I kept within six seconds of that limit.
I prepared mentally for each video by listening to my favourite song on high volume as it always makes me smile and takes me to a happy place.
I wanted to set myself a target of creating and posting a video once per week.
So far so good. There have been a few hurdles along the way but I am gaining confidence and have an occasional smile between sentences which is great.
I can honestly say that in just this short period of 21 days I felt more confident, free, and liberated from a prison of my own making. There is joy now, I am living my values, I’m focussed and I feel like I am making a difference because if I can overcome something so terrifying, I know others can too.
I love that as I start this new journey of discovery, I get to soak up all I can from others who lead the way but also ask others to join me and we can figure it out together.
The next step is the one I am most excited about. If you’ve ever thought of posting a selfie video, please do. It will be the best thing you ever did and there are so many amazing people out there to support you, including me.